March 4, 2013 § Leave a Comment
While in the car, my soon-to-be-lawyer cousin asked me why I wanted to go to law school. I unconsciously said, “cause my Dad forced me into taking the exams.”
I immediately thought, oh man, if I said that in an interview, I’m screwed. But then again, that’s the truth. That’s the reason why I was a deadline-beater for both the exams I took. I didn’t really know if I wanted to take it. This comes as a surprise even for me because I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer since I was a little kid. When someone would ask me, what did I want to be when I grew up, I said I wanted to be a lawyer. Why? Because I wanted to be like my Dad. I felt that way until high school. When college came, the feeling went away. I floated my way through college, not really knowing which way to go. I mean, I knew what I wanted, I just didn’t know how to get there.
It wasn’t until the second semester of 3rd year college when I realized that I wanted to do development work, which led me to taking 2 Development Studies electives in my senior year and I loved every bit of it, even if it was sometimes difficult. I never enjoyed a class so much in my entire stay at University. Livelihood activities, education and health programs, human rights advocacies. That sort of stuff. The reason that I liked my Dad’s job so much is that he got to do all those things. But I’m not like my Dad. I’m not a politician. I’m more of a hands-on field worker. I don’t like being stuck in an office. I don’t like having to handle dirty politics. I like doing plain and simple social work.
Now, I’m at a crossroads in my life. I’m about to graduate with a degree in European Studies. I took law entrance exams. But I feel like I don’t fit. I’m experiencing pangs of regret that I didn’t think about double majoring in Development Studies sooner. I almost feel like I spent 4 years of my life in a degree I’m not entirely invested in. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret being in EU. I learned so much and it was fun,too. I met the most amazing friends but still, now that I’m looking forward, I feel like I didn’t make the right choice.
So, where do I go? There’s the law option. It’ll help me of course. A law degree is a good advantage if I plan to go into government. But will I be good lawyer? I don’t have the balls. I don’t feel like I’m going to practice anyway. I’m gonna be like my dad. He’s a lawyer who never really went to court. Instead, he practiced his lawyering skills in his current job as a politician. So what about me? Is it really necessary to be a lawyer to be good in the field I’m interested in?
I’m also strongly considering taking up a second degree on development but that’s another 4 years for another undergraduate degree.
Maybe a Masters degree? but to get into any good post-graduate school, I’d need work experience first. So that leads to the 4th option of looking for a job just for work experience to get into a post-graduate school.
So many options, but none of them certain. It’s beginning to scare me.
September 23, 2012 § Leave a Comment
I love how I am friends with happy people. I am so grateful that in my life I met this crazy and fun-loving bunch of people who believe that happiness isn't found on material things. That it is as simple as it should be -- happiness is cheesy and clingy friendships and bonding over milkshakes, hot fudge sundaes, and Zombie towers.
September 21, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Politics. It’s a world I’ve grown to love and hate at the same time. I’ve never been a very intelligent writer or speaker. I’m not normally one of those people who get into debates about political issues. As much as I’d like to avoid that world (believe me, I’ve tried), I can’t. It keeps calling out my name. I’m not about to write a long academic position paper about the different issues surrounding the political culture in our country. But allow me to give you my emotional and heart-felt opinion about Philippine politics, in general.
Since I was a fetus in my mother’s womb, the political world was waiting for me, just waiting to eat me up. My Dad’s been a politician since he was 19. When I was a kid, I absolutely LOVED his job. My mom tells me that since I was 2, I would already go with them to different towns and baranggays in province. We could campaign, I’d sing for people, give out flyers, etc. I enjoyed that, I still do. But even more than the fun of campaigning, when my Dad was already in office, I took part in medical missions, sports programs, outreach activities. Sometimes, I even gave speeches to youth groups. I also liked to stay in my Dad’s office, looking at people who were lining up to get a few minutes with him. My Dad helps people and they love him. That’s what I saw. This is what I enjoy. This is what I love about my Dad’s job. I used to be so sure that politics is where I was headed.
Then, I grew up. I started to see everything wrong with this world that I was very much part of. I was old enough to read and understand black propaganda. I was old enough to be aware that there were security threats against our family. I saw friendships and families get ripped apart by political conflict. I became aware of the word corruption and how it happens in government. I, then, realized that there are things I can and can’t do, things I can and can’t say, simply because I’m in a political family. It was a heart-breaking realization. The illusion of politics being all about helping people, it was a lie.
Politics is a messed up world and that has become painfully clear to me, now more than ever. I think it’s my Ateneo education that’s giving me a clearer and more objective view of the world I grew up in. There’s something ridiculously wrong about the way things work in this country. Our politicians aren’t public servants. They’re celebrities who promote themselves every chance they get, already thinking of the next election coming up. Of course, they’re not all bad. There are still a few good men out there who truly serve the way they should. But it can’t be denied that there are also many who don’t seem to know what they’re doing, who won because of popularity, who seem to be wasting tax payers’ money. There are politicians who run for office with only their own personal glory in mind. Absolutely repulsive.
People complain. People complain ALL THE TIME. But I’ve come to realize that complaining gets us nowhere. It’s not just the government officials who are at fault here, so are we, because we let them be. Aside from complaining, what have we really dont to change things?
With the growing popularity of the internet, it has seemed like people have started to speak up. Professionals and intellectuals post statuses on facebook, tweet, write blogs. I do believe this has somehow helped in keeping people aware. But then again, it’s not enough. All words and no actions, it’s useless. It’s time we actually do something about it. As a start, I’ve sworn to make sure that our drivers don’t bribe MMDA officers to get out of a traffic violation. There will also be an end to “she’s the governor’s daughter” to get special privileges. And on a more serious note, I swear with God as my witness that during the 2013 elections, I will vote according to who I think is truly right for the position and not simply because he/she is in my Dad’s party.
More than changes in systems and government programs, there is also a much needed change in values. I know that a lot people already say this but change really does start with ourselves, one step at a time. It’s about making the right decision, regardless of what society tells you. Follow your own conscience.
If you break a traffic law, take responsibility for it. If an election candidate attempts to buy your vote, don’t take it. Remember that as much as our government officials are accountable to us, we are also accountable to ourselves and to this country. This political culture we have long had is not the sole responsibility of politicians, it is ours as well. WE need to change it. Not just them, US.
I know what you’re thinking, I’m being idealistic. Well, maybe some idealism is also needed. There is great potential in the youth who’ve started getting involved in politics. Just don’t let them eat you up. There will be great pressure to follow what the older ones have been doing, but if it’s wrong, I beg you to stand by your principles and ideals. Changing the political culture in this country is difficult, but that doesn’t give us the right to simply let it be. Don’t sit around and watch your country fall apart. Stand up and help build it, in whatever way you can.
Forgive my long rant. It may be incoherent in some parts but I just needed to let that out. This is a promise to myself, my family, my friends, my Philippines, that I will not let you down.
September 8, 2012 § 1 Comment
It’s like a little girl realizing fairytales aren’t real.
August 25, 2012 § Leave a Comment
I’ve recently realized that my happiness depends so much on other people. I can’t seem to find joy in anything that I do by myself. Seeing this person makes me happy, being with these people makes me happy, talking to this person makes me ecstatic. This needs to stop. I can’t be with people all the time. One day, I’m going to have to let them go. This might just be the time to start. Little by little. I need to start finding satisfaction in other things. I should go back to reading books. That used to be all I ever did. Writing might also be another outlet. I’m not very good at it but I can try. It’s about time I start making decisions for myself instead of relying on other people to keep pushing me, or even care what they’d think of my actions. I’m tired of asking for random signs in order to decide what I’m supposed to do. Someone needs to start growing up.
I’ve been trying to control myself these past few weeks. I tried hard but sometimes, I just slip up. Like tonight, I slipped. Although nothing terrible happened, I can’t help but think I just shouldn’t have done it. It’s difficult trying to change the things I’ve already gotten so used to. But people come and go. I can’t change that. I just have to accept it and take it like a man.
April 29, 2012 § Leave a Comment
I am currently missing my blockmates very much. Clingy, I know. I spend all my days in school with them and it’s weird being apart. It’s only been a month but I’m experiencing some intense G1 separation pains. We communicate through Skype, oovoo, FB whatever. We keep each other updated but it’s different when we’re all together in the caf, in a katip resto, or in someone’s house. We’re all over the world for the summer. Most are in different parts of Europe, one is in the US and the rest are in the Philippines. I miss them all very much that’s part of the reason why I’m really happy that Jean is here. At least I have one G1 girly with me! love you babies!!! Can’t wait to see you again!
April 21, 2012 § 1 Comment
It has been crazy for the past 2 weeks! I’ve been at work most of the time and when I’m free, I go out with my friend Aiko who came over from France. That’s why I haven’t been able to post anything. I think I was having too much fun. Haha
Let me just tell you a bit about what I’ve been doing for the past weeks.
So that’s Aiko and me taking our obligatory G1 meet up picture!! This was at the Victoria Memorial in front of Buckingham Palace. Aiko’s spending her JTA sem in France and she just came over to visit for 10 days. I haven’t seen her in 4 months so I’ve really missed her! plus it felt really good having someone from G1 to hang out with! Although I couldn’t stay with her during the day because of work, I had lunch with her everyday and we went out at night. Oh, and she taught me how to cook! well, just a little bit. the basic stuff. haha
There was a day when my boss let me off from work so I could go out with her! Awesome boss. haha I took her around the tourist-y areas of the city like Buckingham Palace, St. James’s Park, Trafalgar Square, etc. We didn’t take much pictures but I do have a video to share with you later on.
On other nights, we went shopping at Oxford Street. We had dinner with my nieces and nephews at Chinatown. We went to M&M world! We watched musicals like Les Miserables and Wicked. I cried when Eponine died in Les Mis. such a beautifully tragic scene. Alexia Khadime played the role and she was amazing! I’ve already watched Les Mis before but it never fails to get to me. Wicked was wicked as well! It was Aiko’s turn to cry. Haha Rachel Tucker played Elphaba while Gina Beck played Glinda. They were both mesmerizing and had the most amazing voices! The stage design was really nice too! I definitely got my money’s worth from both shows.
Aiko and I only had one weekend to spend together so we made the most of it. During the Saturday, we went around the city with Erika. We went to Tower Bridge, London Bridge, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey and King’s Cross where we had our pictures taken at Platform 9 3/4. We also went back to M&M world. We just love it there! Haha We bought food at Marks and Spencers and had lunch at Hyde Park. This is definitely my absolute favorite place in London. I really have a thing for parks. Haha After which we went to Chinatown and had some coffee.
On Saturday night we went to my friend Jack’s house for his birthday. This turned out to be a lot of fun! We even made him a cute birthday greeting made up of M&Ms.
Aiko and I were very much looking forward to Sunday. Why? It’s Harry Potter day!! We went to the Warner Brothers Studio in Watford where they shot all the Harry Potter movies. Now that all the movies are done, they made a tour out of it. It was a magical experience! But that’s all I’m saying about it for now. I want to make an entirely different post about this day.
Now Aiko’s back in France and I’m still here. I miss her already!! I hope she comes back. Haha I’m waiting for Jean to arrive! We’re gonna be working together at the office. yey!
I’m already halfway through my stay in London. Time has passed by so fast! I’m working on an extension. Haha I still wanna go around England some more. But, that’s not certain yet. I am sure though that I’m gonna make the most of the time I have left! I love this place. I have never wanted to stay in a place so much, except for Bohol of course.
Some pictures from the past week!
A view of the London Eye and Big Ben from Westminster Abbey
with Riyana and Kaylee
and finally the video montage of my adventures with Aiko